- all of the things which are definitely not in a hurry (and possibly conspiring against you)
Hair - except when recently cut
Wifi - no regard for the plane ticket I have to buy, or else
Boiling water - not in a hurry, does not care about hunger or al dente pasta
Sleep - this one is confusing, but if you’ve ever had insomnia, you get it
Store clerks - their shift is six hours, your line standing will invariably be shorter
Warm beer - it is not going to get any tastier or, as a bonus, less tasty
Flowers - should be in a hurry, and yet, could care less about bloom visibility
Fish in a bowl - the life is the bowl and swimming across it no feat
Footprints / animal tracks - neither arriving or leaving, they look up to say hi
Honey - honey could never. the more you hurry, the more it will torture you
Couches bigger than the door frame - you’re no threat , they will degrade at will
Recovering ankles - in the category of, really should hurry, and yet…
Toddlers - no hustle whatsoever
Printers - separate from other technology because they are their own menace
Ladders - would you prefer to jump?
Buttons - e.g. small buttons, aesthetics only
Bike chain locks - heavy and always just barely too short, somehow
Mummies inside of melting glaciers - enough said
- and then there’s the rest (definitely conspiring against you)
Shoes - on
Coffee - consumed
Doors - locked
Horns - honking
People - demanding
Oh to be a fish in a bowl!